I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
