either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
