Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I see more hoeing in ur future
We smell like vodka and hangover
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