A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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