Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
