Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
