I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
