Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
