This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
