What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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