You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
