Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
