I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
