my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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