hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
