yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
