i just wanna soil my oats bro
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
