Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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