ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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