we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
