Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
