these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
