Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
