Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
