I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
