who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
