I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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