I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
