My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
