hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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