I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
