Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
