If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
