So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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