Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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