I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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