Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize