So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
