After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
