Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
