I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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