We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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