Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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