As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
