I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
