At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Even my vagina gasped.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
