So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
