singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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