The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
