Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
