Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She announced her abortion via fbk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
